Archive for May, 2008

Duh Nitin

Saturday, May 31st, 2008
Or when the Sri Lankan government is brutally repressing the Tamil minority, again driving refugees into India?

Was that written to explain how the Indian soldiers had no reason to speak out against the IPKF? If it was, I must say, Dilip must be a relieved man.

Fact Check: The IPKF was formed through the Indo-Sri Lankan accord, signed between Rajiv Gandhi and the supposed oppressor. And if you want to know how the ‘oppressed’ saw the IPKF, here.

Self deprecation used to be my area of expertise

Friday, May 30th, 2008

I don’t know if I am jealous because she is 23 or, of.

James Blake sucks, Murray surprises.

Thursday, May 29th, 2008

James Blake does listen to commentators.

He takes their input seriously. So he thinks the mistake yesterday was when he put them all in practice in one match, when he should have just played his game.

And what is his game? Ball-Bashing, not tennis.

Now, I don’t detest ball bashing. Far from it. It feels great to have a ball machine on the opposite end and bash balls it throws at you.

But if you want to do that in a match, where you aren’t playing a probot, you shouldn’t even be in a post match conference blaming poor PMac for being outplayed by a smarter and better player.

Ernests Gulbis, who Blake admits played like a top 20er, actually played like a top 5er. Because he will soon be there or thereabouts when Blake picks his sorry ass and his stupid cry baby book out of ATP.

Meanwhile, Murray was declared the gay tennis icon in Britian. This result has had a cascading effect on French Open odds, with reports of Nadal suffering from a bout of depression over Federer being ahead of him in the poll.

With this context, one can understand what Nadal was spitting at for a long time during his second round match yesterday. I have had friends who have puked at being shown Murray’s picture, so Nadal’s spitting does come across as a rather acceptable alternative on a tennis court.

Didn’t mean to hurt you Oscar!

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

I called you names, fool - I believe, and also a pea-shooter. Not that offensive, really.

But thank you for using your iPhone to read my post during your toilet break, and thank you for losing the match against Mathieu. See, it wasn’t that hard.

Believe me, you don’t deserve to win a second round match at a Grand Slam, much less at RG. Don’t let your supporters fool you. I know they call you ‘king’, but its actually an inside joke that neither Google nor Babel translator can help you with.

You are a disgrace to all one handed backhanders in the world. Well, not all, of course. Robredo is doing a good job getting himself off that list.

I know its too late to play futures, but whats wrong with challengers? I am sure a dozen shanks per set off the backhand can still get you to a tie break at that level. And then you can pea-shoot yourself to another loss.

I really don’t want to see you again on TV or on any live stream I am watching. I don’t mind having a game with you, but try not to hog the center courts at Grand Slams, please.

Again, I didn’t mean to hurt you Oscar. And thank you for reading themaanga.com.

Safin, Davy

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

It’s a miracle that Safin continues to make the main draw at Grand Slams, but he will meet my man, Davydenko, in the next round.

Keen readers will be quick to note that I tipped Davydenko to have the dirtiest pair of trousers at the end of RG, and hence it must follow that Safin will be thumped by nice bald Davy.

But things are rarely so simple in tennis, just as in life. Matches are not won just by the players on the court, but also by their support staff in the stands.

Why else does Federer tag Mirka along with him? She is equal to two men. Of course, Novak’s parents and his brother outnumbered her at the Australian Open and Federer had to hire Jose Higueras for extra support, but then she served her purpose for four long years.

Safin may change his girlfriend as fast as he changes his racquets, but unlike his racquets he picks his girlfriends with care. The last time these two met was more than 12 months ago, when Safin turned up without a girlfriend or a coach, and was blitzed away by Davy who had recently married Irina.

This time, though, Safin is fully prepared with a girlfriend so hot she burnt the rain drops at RG before they fell on the ground today. Irina too, if one chooses to believe his sources, has been doing her bit and is reportedly determined to show that one night stands are not stronger than marriages.

It promises to be a spectacular sideshow to an already enthralling contest befitting a second round at RG.

I just hope that Davy makes it somehow, because though I fell in love with Safin’s current girlfriend, I bet my ass on Davy to win RG even before the draw was announced.

Oscar, you fool!

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

I agree you had a nice haircut, but after 10 years on tour, if you serve like you are shooting peas off someone’s back, it’s time for you to retire.

And what do I see you doing? Grinding down poor Mathieu for a two set lead. I ask, why?

I am aware that I have declared my undying support for Davydenko to lift the title this year, but you know that I haven’t given up on the French, especially the best ones. Mathieu, in this case, if you remember, was the only one who looked like beating Nadal last year here.

He can still turn the match around and lose in the fifth set, but why bother him so much when you could simply bet against yourself and earn ten times as much as you can if you win.

You are not as ugly as Davydenko is. You are uglier than him. They won’t touch you. Lose the match now, please.

French Open

Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

So it happens that I am allowed to ridicule players without ever having to win a Grand Slam myself, but should construct a nice argument to back up my point. Nice try sam, but good luck searching for a reader that feeds you only Nilu’s and avataram’s posts.

Now on to the the post itself.

Robert Dee is my hero, but Smeets came very close to knocking him off the perch two days ago. Now I hate the Aussies, especially when they are from Queensland and taller than 180 cm, but anyone who can take a game off Berdych serving at 46% and still manage to lose inside an hour surely deserves a pat on the back. The last thing Berdych needs is another juicy bagel while humping Safarova.

Also Kohlschreiber found that not everybody on tour plays like Roddick.

Gasquet decided to spare himself of the humiliation of losing to the worst French player by pulling out at the last moment. Apparently, Gasquet woke up with a broken knee on the day of the match.

Meanwhile, good friend Baghdatis is giving Gasquet some nice company by losing to an Italian who almost lost to a desi in the last Grand Slam.

Some nice revenge for Soderling too, thrashing the Nadal wannabe, Monaco, who has decided to sue Tsonga for his early withdrawal leaving him as the unlucky 13th seed. I am beginning to suspect that he might have a point after the could-have-been 13th seed Robredo played far above his natural grinding style to beat the former clay great Coria.

And Nadal looks like walking into a repeat of what he thinks cost him last year’s Wimbledon. Not sure if the French hate him enough to cram 3 matches inside 3 days, against Youzhny, Nalbandian and Djokovic. Seems to me its Federer’s best chance to win the French Open with a cup cake draw this year.

I have a feeling it will be Davydenko this time. Long time since we’ve had a bald Grand Slam champion.

Kuerten bows out with a 6-3 6-4 6-2

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

The swansong, although four years late, had the perfect setting. An opponent who plays great in 20 min bursts, and can spare Kuerten the pain of having to play 5 sets to lose this match, and near full French Open crowd that was present to give this man a fitting send-off.

The match had everything, a mexican wave, ‘GUGA’ chants, two conceded aces, a shirt that reminded one of ‘97, grunts that got deeper with every passing game, Kuerten speaking in cute French at the end and most unexpectedly great tennis.

30 winners, of which 17 were from Kuerten. The magical backhand was still on painting the lines, except not 10 out of 10 times.

The man who made clay court tennis enjoyable and who still has the chance to end up as the greatest clay courter of the last two decades decided he won’t try anymore.

Thankfully, none of the self-obsessed american pricks like McEnroe and Courier were allowed anywhere near Kuerten with a mic on the court. Result - no comment by Kuerten on Rafa or Roger or whoever the fuck.

Since I have to bring in Federer into this post, let’s say Federer can learn two things from this great Brazilian. One, how to hit a backhand when the ball jumps on you, and, two, how to cry like a man.

p.s. Mathieu, the last man to beat Sampras, said that he allowed Kuerten to enjoy his last game. Thank you for that, Mathieu. I know you didn’t extend this favour to Sampras. Thank you for that too. The match was just perfect.

Question

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

A strong federal structure with local power centers, one would think, will only help the two national parties.

The Congress, for family reasons, does not like the idea. What about the BJP?

Friday, May 23rd, 2008

Five years is indeed a long time.