The Maanga

Jose Higueras will be kicked out of Federer’s camp now.

He was hired to make sure that Nadal wears the right underpants for the final. Tony Roche tried to do it for two years and failed miserably, Mirka was successful on a couple of occasions, but those occasions were on hard courts where even James Blake’s brother was able to achieve that feat.

Jose Higeuras, though, was differerent from the rest of them. He speaks spanish and even took Toni Nadal under his confidence. If the rumour that went around Roland Garros as the match began was right, he did achieve the impossible while Nadal was practising in a court next to Federer by dropping a fresh pair of underpants of the right size in Nadal’s bag.

Or so he thought. Too bad, it turned to be the perfect wrong one as Nadal ass-picked his way to a fourth Roland Garros title.

Now the only hope for Higueras is to convince Rafa that he has the knack of picking the perfect wrong one everytime.

James Blake does listen to commentators.

He takes their input seriously. So he thinks the mistake yesterday was when he put them all in practice in one match, when he should have just played his game.

And what is his game? Ball-Bashing, not tennis.

Now, I don’t detest ball bashing. Far from it. It feels great to have a ball machine on the opposite end and bash balls it throws at you.

But if you want to do that in a match, where you aren’t playing a probot, you shouldn’t even be in a post match conference blaming poor PMac for being outplayed by a smarter and better player.

Ernests Gulbis, who Blake admits played like a top 20er, actually played like a top 5er. Because he will soon be there or thereabouts when Blake picks his sorry ass and his stupid cry baby book out of ATP.

Meanwhile, Murray was declared the gay tennis icon in Britian. This result has had a cascading effect on French Open odds, with reports of Nadal suffering from a bout of depression over Federer being ahead of him in the poll.

With this context, one can understand what Nadal was spitting at for a long time during his second round match yesterday. I have had friends who have puked at being shown Murray’s picture, so Nadal’s spitting does come across as a rather acceptable alternative on a tennis court.

Normally I don’t comment on matches that I didn’t get to see, but this one’s hard to pass up.

Rafa’s nth beatdown on a Hard court in the past 6 months. Sweeter, because its his former bitch, Davydenko, that spanked him 6-4 6-2 in the Miami Masters final today.

Now this girl will come up with excuses about how Rafa’s hard court record is only second/third to the great Federer and the cheater Djokovic. But if she didn’t masturbate to Rafa’s pictures so much, she would go back a little in time and look at how our Rod-duck’s career panned out.

The similarities are very noticeable. The pseudo aggression, zero game plan, on court intimidation fetches them victories in matches they should have lost. Then they meet one good player playing great and they get blown off the court. It happened to Roddick a number of times, although his serve makes the score a little respectable. Poor Rafa has no such luck. Every part of his game sucks so much that his heart must be sick of sticking up for his lack of talent.

Thanks to Davydenko for cleaning the ugly Miami courts with Nadal.

Did I mention that both Roddick and Rafa are overachievers? Bring on the clay season, Gasquet is on this time.

Gasquet started off as a star and is fast degenerating into a mug. Nadal started off as a mug and has remained that ever since.