A predator and fashion victim

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Memo to: Velupillai Prabhakaran

From: Avataram

I saw an article on you in the Economist recently. Lets leave war and peace and all that. What is with those trousers and that belt? Like all south asian men, you insist on wearing your trousers just below your chest. Is it because you want your belt buckle to deflect any shots aimed at your chest? To hold your bullet proof vest close to your body?

Whatever it is, if you want your cadres to take you seriously, you need a better tailor. This fellow is too old fashioned. Why do you think you are losing? Why did Karuna choose to betray you? Why does the Sri Lankan government think that 2008 is your final year? No one can trust a man who cannot wear his trousers properly. A terrorist leader cannot look like a clown. You might as well go back to a camouflage veshti. Or like Pottu Amman, not have any photographs of yours in circulation.

I know what you are afraid of. As soon as you get a new pair of trousers, people might say, Prabhakaran has lowered his trousers. No wonder these trousers have been going up ever since I saw you first. But please have that chat with your tailor. Please.

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